New Year's Resolution: Publish!

Following on from some thoughts I blogged about last year (or maybe I didn't, I can't remember, I'm busy dammit!) I'm going to make a real stab at publishing Worm: Demon Attorney at Law in 2016.

The Road So Far... (mood music)

You'll see from my sidebar that I've self-published a novel, a smattering of novellas, and a handful of short stories. I'm proud of all of them, if only because the earlier ones let me see how far I've come.

But what about the stuff you don't see?

Well, there's some MUCH earlier stuff, from way before The Werechicken was even half a thought in my head. This will never see the light of day, and I can't believe I haven't burned it already. Moving swiftly on.

After The Werechicken was written, I decided to improve my writing chops with the short stories and novellas. Most I felt good enough to put my name to them and make them buyable/downloadable.

Others (that don't appear on the bar to the right) were ok, but I felt they didn't quite work. I might have started them, but they just didn't hold my attention. Most were short stories that started off as good ideas, but a single good idea can't make a full story.

One that I'm struggling with just now is the follow-up to Worm: Demon Attorney at Law, which is provisionally titled Worm and the Case of Agatha Wilson versus Death. I feel like it is founded on a good idea: some rich old bat doesn't fancy the idea of death, so hires our loveable demonic lawyer to take out and enforce a magical restraining order against Death himself. Solid idea, but turning that funny little idea into a full story isn't always easy.

It does work sometimes. The Werechicken started out as a superhero origin story along the lines of: what if a young man discovered that he had a super power, but that power was crap?

Since we're on the subject: there is a sequel to The Werechicken written on my computer, but will take some serious re-working before I can put it out there. I had a grand vision for The Werechicken's saga, but perhaps it was too grand. I think that the charm of The Werechicken came from putting the titular character into situations where I could torture him and we could all have a good laugh. So why I thought that it would work as epic fantasy I will never know.

Now...

Worm: Demon Attorney at Law isn't just the 90k words or so that make it up. It's the product of almost 4 years of writing practice, research, and maturing as a writer. I might have felt like I was ready 2 years ago to have something traditionally published, but looking back I don't think my work was quite good enough. I feel like I'm at that stage now though.

I have my 3 chapters polished to perfection, my synopsis, my covering letter, and also a CV of my previous works. I've made a spreadsheet based on the agents I think are the best fit for me from the Writers and Artists Yearbook, and columns for me to update once I've submitted and heard back. So all that is left is to pull the trigger.

Hold my beer, I'm going in!

Steve

Open Letter to Ardon Legal Community 2

Dear Lawyers,

I've been having a bit of difficulty with several of the judges in Ardon Municipal Court and wonder if anyone can assist me.

The judges, who shall remain unnamed, are possibly the most obstinate, foul tempered group of old arses that I have had the misfortune to meet in all 200 years of my demonic life- and keep in mind that I've been summoned before the Archdemons themselves (long story).

It seems that these judges are incapable of allowing me to finish a sentence without interjecting with their own opinion about what the law should be; how they think the rules about questioning witnesses should be followed; or why I am not observing correct court etiquette. Bearing in mind that I've been out of the legal game for a while now, I don't ever recall judges being so bloody pernickety about these matters. When I last practised law, the common procedure was to let the lawyers have turns applying the thumbscrews and hot pokers for as long as was necessary. Yes, I know there are more rules to courts now, and some consider the methods I'm used to as 'outdated', but I think there's something to be said for just letting us lawyers get on with our jobs.

Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I'm holding a coffee morning at my office on Monday of next week with a view to starting a committee to replace the 'witness stand' - which has become commonplace in most courts - with the more traditional torture-rack or iron-maiden, which in my view are court traditions that were cast aside too easily. In my opinion, back when these were the norm, judges could be much more assured that witness testimony was accurate.

I hope to meet some like-minded people at the coffee morning. Although for the sake of clarity, this is a coffee morning, so no vampires.

Yours,

Worm
Principal Lawyer
Ardon Legal Clinic

An Open Letter to the Legal Community of Ardon

Dear Lawyers,

I know that not all of you will know me. I am a fairly new addition to the Ardon legal community. My name is Worm and I run the Ardon legal clinic - the office is next to the whore tent down by the river that I think some of you frequent.

There are a few things that I wish to say in this letter. 

Firstly, some of you may have noticed, and others may not have, but I am a demon. Rest assured that I am not in the business of cheating anyone out of their soul, or taking it from them by force (not any more at least). I simply wish to be a productive citizen of Ardon, and an active member of the legal sphere.

Secondly, it has been a while since I was last in practice. Although I have gained a second, more up-to-date, law degree at the Law Societies insistence, I may from time to time fall into some old habits which are not in line with modern practice. I'm sure that word has gotten around of my minor gaffe in court last week when I asked Judge Sinclair for permission to flog a witness for not answering my questions as fully as I might have liked. Mea culpa. 

Thidly, and finally, although I am enjoying my time at the Ardon Legal Clinic, I feel it might be time for a change of pace. I am seeking to enhance my skills by undertaking a legal apprenticeship. I feel I would be an asset to any firm. My negotiation skills are top notch, and I have... unique methods for ensuring that people stick to their word. If anyone is interested, send me a letter, or drop in for a social call.

Yours sincerely,

Worm

An Unwell Writer

I'm poorly. Not blaming anyone in particular, but the receptionist at my office had a cold last week, and it's a small office. God-dammit Demi...

Anyway, as much as I would normally relish having some extra time in the house to allow me to write, it's been difficult to adopt the correct mindset. Writing is a fun activity, but it's challenging and requires some brain power. Right now every time I try to use my brain it begins to overheat and I need to go for a nap.

My best friend right now.

My lawyering day-job is also non-compatible with having a cold. I was supposed to start quite a high-level trial today, but thankfully a witness didn't appear, the trial couldn't go ahead (woohoo!), and I got to 'work from home' in the afternoon.

This is a bit of a rambly post, which might be something to do with the painkillers, so I think I'll quit while I'm ahead.

Steve

EDIT: I haven't had time to update in a while, but just to let you know I survived and am feeling much better now.

Stuff I'm Doing

Look at me, posting more than once a quarter. How serious about being a writer am I?!

So, here's what's been going on:

1. Worm Short Story Series

The Demon Attorney

Worm has set up a small law practice in a shack. His normal clientele are the local scum and his fees are paid by the city's Legal Aid Trust. However, an extremely high-brow client comes through his door and Worm finds himself dusting off his private-rate cost list.

I've emailed this first part to a few magazines, but can't remember which ones... bugger.

The second part sees Worm's posh client interviewed by a pair of, less than competent, but intimidating all the same, detectives. The pressure causes the client to do something he will live to regret.

The third part is a work in progress, and will probably be the bulk of the story.

2. Standalone Worm Short Story

A wizard professor from the University of Magical Studies studying a primitive civilisation finds himself in trouble with the University's disciplinary tribunal after using his magical abilities to trick the civilization into believing that he is a God, and letting them treat him as such. His union pays for a lawyer to guide him through the tribunal process. Guess who he gets...

3. Sci Fi Short Story

A change of scenery entirely. The Hercules is an ark-type spacecraft leaving Earth with the best and brightest of humanity. The only problem is not a single one of them knows how to cook a meal  on a stove or operate an iron. Thousands of support staff are required, and one of them is a small-time criminal lawyer, who finds it difficult to relate to the ultra-intelligent scientists who feel that the spaceship is rightfully theirs.

Is All Traditional Publishing Vanity Publishing?

The above question occurred to me in the context of examining the pros and cons of the main publishing options for Worm: Demon Attorney at Law. Ruling out actual 'vanity' publishing (because I have no money), the two main options are self publish right now, or take the longer route of traditional publishing and all that brings.

So which should I choose and why? It really boils down to what I want from my choice of publisher, and by extension my 'career' as a writer.

Money: neither option provides much of that at first, so it's not really a consideration.

Support: as a new writer, there probably won't be much in the way of support for advertisement and editing services. There are still some perks to having a trad publisher in terms of producing a run of physical books, and y'know, publishing them. Chalk up one for tradition.

Formats: with ebook and print on demand services, a self-publisher can have the same product available online as a traditionally published writer. It's a draw.

Timing: I can self-publish right now if I want to. Right this second. For a traditional deal I estimate that it might be up to two years before I could even hope to have a book out (if it happens at all with this work). That's a definite point in favour of self-publishing.

Contractual obligations: with self-publishing I don't have to answer to anyone (apart from the blogdog - see below). With a traditional deal there's bullshit like deadlines and responsibilities to blog, tweet, and Facebook about my damn book. Maybe I feel like blogging, maybe I don't. I don't want to be forced into taking my focus away from writing when I barely have enough time for that anyway. 2 points in the self-publishing corner.

So far I've got to say it's a very tough fight to call. In practical terms, a self-publisher can have everything a traditionally published author can have. And, since 50 Shades of Grey, there is precedent for a self-published author to become a massive success - although let's be clear, the success of that book was all in the shock value as opposed to artistic merit. I could go on, but 'shock value' as a marketing technique is beyond the scope of this post. Let's get back to the comparison of traditional publishing versus selfing it.

Vanity: now we're getting somewhere. I have self-published 9 works of various lengths, but I have a real difficulty calling myself a 'writer'. Maybe it's just me, but unless I have a traditional publishing deal, or something published in a magazine, I don't think I'm a real writer.

Should that matter? No. Does it though? Kinda.

Maybe it's this whole new self-publishing phenomenon which has made 'writer' a meaningless title. Previously one had no option but to grovel to the big publishing houses to attain the status of writer. Now, any idiot with an internet connection can throw some words onto a page, click publish, and call themselves a writer (and occasionally: become a massive success (see the erotica section of the Kindle bookstore)).

So what? If I'm happy with my work, I've put in the effort, and I'm putting out a professional product, should it matter that others don't? No. Does it though? Kinda.

And as I alluded to earlier, although I can have a physical product printed up, I can't hang around for hours in a bookstore next to my book, leaving a copy open to the 'picture of the author' page.

"Did I write this? Why yes, yes I did."

Without the negotiation clout of a publishing house, a selfer will probably never see their book in a book-store.

So, to sum up: before taking vanity into consideration, there's no clear winner in the war of tradition versus newfangled self-publishing. However, the latter comes without the coveted gloating rights of having been approved by someone 'in the biz', invested in, and put into print. And when there appears to be so little money to be made from this career/ calling/ hobby, maybe that's all we can get from it...

Hmm, that was a bit more melancholy than I had intended. I'm going to go play with the blogdog to cheer myself up.

S.J.

The Blogdog