Sunday, 10 February 2013


This blog post is aimed at my fellow writers. I'm currently sitting watching the ridiculously accomplished and lucky people at the BAFTA awards. I wonder what it would be like to be sitting there, and hearing my name being called as the winner in the 'best screenplay' or 'best film' award for a film based on one of my books.

It's a long and hard road, but if you want it hard enough, you'll do it. But is just wanting it enough? Obviously there are things that you can't control that factor into success. As for those other things, what are the essential features of an award winning writers? The first thing is obviously the ability to come up with a great story. One can be the most technically brilliant writer on the planet, but if the story sucks, who will want to read it?

Then there's that second part: the ability to write. The best story in the world means nothing if it reads like it's told by a mental-patient with a crayon.

Fortunately, both of these are skills. The writing more obviously so: practice makes perfect etc. Coming up with good stories on the other hand is more tricky. It requires things like inspiration, experience, and imagination. I believe that things like this can be practiced as well.

But say I'm the best writer in the world. That doesn't automatically entitle me to a seat next to Hugh Jackman. I have to get my writing out there.

My current philosophy is that one only fails if one gives up (or dies trying, but lets pay no attention to that for now). I'm planning on playing the shit out of the 'long game' i.e. get a shit-ton of books out there, like Terry Pratchett, and acquire an awesome cult following. Then I will get them to harrass Hollywood types (set up camp on their front lawns etc.) until I get a movie made. If they don't agree to all of my terms and my script etc, I will instruct the fans to stay there forever until all my demands are met. Then BAFTA.

I think it's a good plan tbh.

Monday, 4 February 2013


Where does time go? Seriously? How is a person supposed to do EVERYTHING he wants to do?

Right now, I'm trying to fit in all of the following into my life:

Work (out of necessity, not much choice here)
Forum-ing (that's right, I verbed that shit)
Spending time with my girlfriend (boy is she going to be pissed that she's tenth on the list...)
Spending time with friends
World-Domination (that's more of a long-game activity)
Taking care of my snakes

I know what you're thinking: 'Steve, cut some of that shit out!' But to that I say: 'no sir! That's not the way I do business!'

During the week I've been trying to dedicate my two free evenings to writing and writing related activities. There's also SOME free time for writing on the weekends. I've identified at least two hours of my day when I'm wholly unproductive, and that's the drive to and from work. What I would love to be able to do is be able to write/read/edit while I'm driving. Unfortunately, I'm a sucky driver as it is, so that's probably not the safest idea.

I've toyed with the idea of doing some writing at work at lunchtime, but I rarely get a lunchbreak these days (oh woe is me!). Also, when I do get a lunchbreak, I like to spend it doing very little, to relax the old brain. Obviously I can sneak in a little forum-ing at work. This has a double-function as a kind of advertising, especially with my books in my sig.

But there's very little scope for sneaking in a little bit here and there on all of the other activities. I can't write while snowboarding (or can I? I mean I could give it a go and post the results on YouTube, that might help with the advertising too).

So what's the solution? Right now I'm working on a 'everything in moderation' philosophy. I can go climbing one weekend, snowboarding the next, and go to the cinema the next. That frees up the rest of the weekend for other things. It's not a bad system, but I'd really like to dedicate two whole days per week to snowboarding, two to climbing, and two to painting. I would write every evening, and on my spare day: I would go into work, for triple what I'm being paid now. Any ideas how I can pitch that one to the boss? Anyone who comes up with something workable is a shoe-in for the Nobel prize in badassery (new category for 2013).

Hugs and kisses,


I'm Excited!

Hi all,

As you can tell by my title, I'm pretty happy right now. I've been working really hard on my latest novella, Licking Walls in the Dark, and I've been getting good responses from test-readers :-)

I'm going to give it one more look over, then send it to my meanest, least feelings-caring-aboutest friend, for him to shout at me until my book is good. Then I'll begin the long search for a good cover, slap my name on it, and throw my book into the hellish maelstrom of obscurity that is Amazon.

This is now my sixth book. That will be three short stories and three novellas available. I'm planning on doing collections, and then (drum roll) it will be time to unleash the novel.

The Werechicken has been sitting on the back burner for quite a while now. I'm really excited about finally getting it out there.

That's all for now. Watch this space for more self-indulgent ramblings. Coming soon!